Check Yourself!

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Years ago there was a song by Ice Cube wherein were these very lyrics. Though I don't necessarily promote the song, I do promote the phrase.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself, your marriage, your job, anything.

Check what?

Your internal dialogue.

It can make a mess!

Can I guarantee checking it will change your life? No, but if you check it and edit it, you pretty much can.

Let's say you are in your car and someone cuts you off. What is your internal dialogue?

Or, maybe your boss is editing your work...

Or, your spouse is commenting on the well done chicken you made.

When the car cut you off you might have talked to yourself about their ignorance or their purposeful attempt to run you off the road. This self talk incites anger.

Let's edit or reframe it for alternates and accuracy!

Do they know you? Nope.

Did they see you? Maybe not.

Might they be on their way to the hospital? Maybe.

If these alternated are true why are you mad? Hmm. Kinda silly huh?

When your boss is hovering over your shoulder explaining how your work should be different and compares it to his wife's tasteless meatloaf this upsets you.

Okay, reframe- alternates and accuracy.

Might he be trying to help. Maybe.

Might he be under his own deadline gun? Probably.

Might he be sleeping on his friend's couch because his wife left him for a meat and potatoes kinda guy?

Who knows?

But, reframing the dialogue sure might help you feel better about it.

Maybe you won't call him a jerk and quit after all.

And what if you are the one who made the well done chicken?

Well, maybe it really is "well done"- they like it.

Maybe they felt bad they distracted you while you were cooking.

Or, maybe they care and are about to suggest you get a new grill this weekend knowing it's not you, but the old grill.

If you don't wait, check yourself, reconsider and reframe you might be the one on the couch instead of at the check out line at Home Depot.
You would have wrecked the opportunity instead of just the chicken.

So, next time you feel yourself getting all rilled up, c-c-c-check yourself before you wreck yourself and keep your cool like Ice Cube.